You are going to face it at one point or another in your time as a creator. That poking, prodding evil that creeps round on all fours. It sniggers at your failure and pushes you down as you struggle to grasp a footing. Depression is a suffocating blanket that affects even the best of us; especially creators. Creative depression is something that can happen to anyone who makes something. Be that a simple photo, post or art it will effect all you do. Having a feeling that looms over yourself in regards to feeling as if your creation matters not is a horrid feeling. I’m not talking about popularity or views, I am talking overall satisfaction.
I’m no doctor or psychiatrist, but I can tell you that it effects a mass majority of us. Too many times have I personally sat at a keyboard, trying to pull words forth from a bag that just seems to hold nothing. It’s like you are grasping at an idea that just isn’t there. You can watch an anime or maybe you look to something else for inspiration, but just as it appeared it also quickly fades into nothingness. It was as if that inspiration was never even there and now you stare down a winding road that seems to never end. As quickly as it curves into something, it veers towards nothingness only to come towards another temporary idea. Trying to create when you are in such a rut is neigh impossible.
From my own experience, coming to terms with the fact that you just cannot create is something that should be addressed as quickly as possible. Accepting this makes it easier to take a step back from what you are doing and to reassess. You won’t always be able to make it back to 100 percent, but you can get pretty close to it. Tackling what issues are in your way will help you identify potential struggles and mend them. Fixing them may not be entirely possible and if the issue is skin deep, then you should really think about seeking a professional consultant. Creative depression eats into our livelihood, our followers and our overall self view. If we feel that our work is worthless, then that feeling feeds back into our usual depression. Binge watching your favorite show can only go so far to help, it just can’t help you create; sometimes.
Finding out why it was you got into what you did is helpful and it is worth more than you know. Thinking about the joys of why you create can help you look past the winding road and onto a more direct path to where you wanted to go. Yeah, I know that I won’t ever be as popular as other anime bloggers and that is just fine with me. I write purely based on the fact that I love what I can do with it. I love that anime has been such an inspiring tool in my life for what I do and how I interact with it all. But depression still eats into this outlook. It’s a corrupter that makes you feel lacking in respect to your mutual creators and it can turn you into a monster that glares upon them with disdain. That is something we all strive to fight off and avoid with all precedence. Yet we can only overcome this poison with diligence and remembering to just take a step back and breath.
Remember what you loved about your first convention, what you loved about that first cosplay or first piece of art you created. I cannot guarantee it will help you in any way, shape or form, but the least you can do is to try. It’s what I am working towards understanding and seeing. Peeling back the veil of depression is to also rid oneself of its weight and ugliness. From here you can begin to work in earnest towards getting back to where you once where. Plus having an amazing support network of friends is instrumental and the best medicine by far. Just remember that you aren’t the only one out there who struggles from this and realize that you have friends who are there to support you when your back is to a wall.
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