I recently had a dance, a struggle or a fight with myself. I was wrecked with self loathing and I just felt out of it. Work suffered and I neglected my duties, it left an awful taste in my mouth each and every morning. Depression is handled in many ways and affects everyone in drastically different ways; it can spur self harm or social isolation. I had previously lead a discussion point on the subject that of anime helping with depression. While that piece was never aimed at myself personally, it still held some essence of truth. Where I was at that posting was in a much better mindset than I was for the past two weeks.
I am someone who feels that one need not burden a wider audience with stuff like this, but I feel an obligation to chat about it as it directly affected both my day job and blogging projects. I stopped watching anime and stopped playing games that I was feverishly excited for. Every day felt unnecessarily longer than it needed to and I left many projects unfinished or abandoned; all but one thing. Music is and has always been something that I have retreated to for comfort and protection. It leaves me lacking the words to express how much it really does help. Music therapy is far from some radically new method for health treatment. It just happens to be an outlet from which I am able to recover from even a darker depth of despair.
This song honestly is godly in this rendition by Peter Hollens & Malukah Originally composed by Christopher Tin for Civilization IV. Was looped many times. Please consider playing it.
Depression is crippling in more ways than just the outward effects and all treatments tackle this issue differently. Music for us is a door, an open window into a world that is as mystical as it is emotionally rooted in tones and themes that touch us deeply. It’s why I go out of my way to talk about music when I can, it makes me happy. If I could trade everything in the world for unlimited and pure access to the music I love, then I would be immensely satisfied with living life with nothing but that to sustain me. However my affinity towards music isn’t the same cure for someone else’s depression. It can be fatal if left unnoticed or it can be crippling. Frankly not everyone can go without medical treatment for depression or a large support group. Sure, I maybe could have been better off having a large support net but music is more therapeutic than words have ever been and that is magical.
At the end of every long road is something that is worth sharing, something that is worth pushing the extra mile for. It may not be adorned with precious gems, love warmth or words. It can be anything that makes you happy and comforted. In the long run, music was what was waiting for me after the long road I traveled and it will always be something that I cherish most fondly.
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